Desperate for you, God

I used to write a lot about You. I look back at my old blog, I see when I began to encounter You. I see the changes that You made in my life consistently. I was hungry for You.

Lately, I’m going to be so honest.. I haven’t been. I’ve been avoiding You. I wish I understood why. I know that You are the only one who will redeem me. Who can get me out of this funk I’ve slipped into. Why am I doing this?

I know that I still love You. The majority of my time is spent thinking about how I haven’t spent time with You. Not knowing how to approach You now.. But have I forgot that You have never turned Your back on me? That even if I mess up big, You would still choose to stay. You would still choose to love me and to accept me- despite all of my flaws.

I need You, God. I need You so much right now. My whole body is turning off. I feel like my heart is shutting down slowly. I am so unhappy. I am losing my joy. 

Here I am, though. I’m giving this writing thing another shot. This is where I am right now, but I know that You are going to show up soon. You will rescue me like you have, always. I love You and I thank You for all you have done.

“For all your goodness, I will keep on singing. 10,000 reasons for my heart to find.”